Blank page

 

Listen

 

I am a blank page.
My certainties gone.

Vulnerable as a new born babe
I try to make sense
Of my status unmade.

Now that all that I knew is no longer true
And all that I felt seems glibly withheld.
Questions keep me warm at night
Give me comfort in my flight
from what I was, to what I might be.
A middle age reset, a future unseen.

The losses of a life well lived.
The joys, the hopes,
the shimmies, the shifts.

No regrets, and no looking back.
Just quietly sitting with what I lack.

Then like a beachcomber I sift
through the wreckage of needs.
Seeking new treasures
among the shells and the reeds.

When love sustains, but mists now cloud
The path ahead, I walk, still proud
Yet lonely too.
Fear fighting trust
Yet walk ahead and endure I must.

I am a blank page,
in a book, halfway through.
In a moment of pause

Stuck between breaths
Can I endorse
Life’s twists and turns
Or do I rail
And shake my fists
And feel I’ve failed?

Waiting, just waiting,
My sparkle low.
Yet burning still, a little glow.

A dimly burning dapper flame.
Defying the terrors of life’s little game.

If blank page I must
Then so let it be
But don’t think its easy
Don’t think I feel free.
The ties inside me,
Meet the ties that you made
Can we untangle?

I will wait, I will, wait.

NDB: 2015

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