Emotional orgasms and the fear of rejection

It would seem that the world divides equally into people that generate strong emotional waves and people that get blown away by these powerful outbursts. Not only that, but people with strong emotional definition can flare up and yet, within minutes, return to their usual, more stable emotional state. Whereas people with the more receptive emotional setting will feel the effects of someone’s emotional outburst reverberating around their system for days.*

This week, one of the biggest emotional drama queens of our whole system will be activated. This powerful emotional energy leads to dramatic, ‘either you die or I die’ confrontations. It is the tribal energy of rejecting and killing, before you are rejected or killed yourself. And that can be a physical as well as an emotional or psychological ‘killing’. And it carries the energy of divorce, personal, corporate, or, as we see in the UK, transnational. A parting of ways based on principles, because the upholding of a fixed set of fundamental truths in the community, is what triggers this energy more than anything else. And as we know, fundamental truths are never fixed, and have a way of evolving in line with humanity’s individual and collective growing consciousness.  

From the perspective of the Gene Keys teaching, this emotional knee-jerk reaction is nothing but a low frequency use of this human archetype. At an open hearted, fearless level, it is the energy that brings lasting change. It is the energy that ‘revolutionised’ our ideas about enslaving other human beings, the energy that is bringing about a revolution in the management of the earth’s resources. And in both cases, the passions that drive this revolutionary change can run high and be destructive as well as constructive. A good revolution rejects the things that have become redundant and builds on what is still fit for purpose. That requires a way of balancing passion with level headed thinking. Not curbing passion with a mental block. Nor inflaming passion with mental intolerance. But balancing head and heart. That is the challenge of the thematic energy that will influence us all in the coming week, so that we can all learn to become more effective revolutionaries in a world that is crying out for change.

An evolutionary revolution

In 2012 the BBC reported on the first discoveries that pointed to a ‘second brain’ in our gut. The Human Design narrative is that the stomach, the solar plexus centre, is not the second brain, but the new brain, brought online for a new kind of humanity. However, for now we are using it much like a powerful new car that came without a drivers’ manual! And this haphazard, new, powerful emotional awareness centre is what activates the theme of revolution. Collectively and individually we can therefore use this week to discover new ways of dealing with passionate emotional reactions that come about when we feel that ‘the other’ is undermining the tribal principles we hold dear. Or is clinging on to fundamental truth that we passionately feel have passed their sell by date.

One of the escape routes of this energy is the mind. And therein lies a real challenge not to funnel the emotional waves of indignation through intolerant mental mind games that somehow justify the passion. We can learn to ride out the emotional wave and then use the mind to gain clarity around what upset us, before acting on it. Not rushing out with your sword of justice while still seeing red, not using your mind to give verbal hands and feet to the anger, nor repressing the passion as something dangerous, but letting the whole orgasmic emotional wave flow right through you. Your own as well as those of other beings. Observe, be curious, but don’t let it carry you off into physical, emotional or mental abuse.

And that is really, really hard. As someone who has a strong emotional definition and also carries the theme of revolution in her genetic profile, I can best describe such a passionate, indeed violent emotional wave of principled ‘outrage’ as a vomiting reflex, an almost unstoppable urge to ‘throw up’ your concerns. Or, if the vomiting metaphor doesn’t quite do it for you, think of it like being on the brink of an orgasm. You can’t go back, you fall into a delicious abyss, and lose your ‘self’ completely. As do you, momentarily, disconnect from ‘the other’. And there is actually a kind of similar orgasmic pleasure in the unbridled pouring out of your upwelling emotional wave. Despite its destructiveness. Which makes it so seductive.

An emotional no man’s land

All this powerful energy stems from this new intelligence and awareness centre, the Solar Plexus, which has been added to our incarnation vehicle with no operating instructions. The story goes that in the future, the emotional consciousness of the solar plexus centre, the belly brain, will replace our cognitive mind. Just like our prefrontal lobes took over from our purely instinctual amygdala, our primary survival instinct. For now, we are living in a kind of emotional no-man’s land, with a beautiful but rather out of control emotional awareness centre and motorised wave pool. Sometime in the far future, all of humanity will share one collective emotional awareness. Or rather, we will awaken to the fact that we never stopped being part of one cosmic Consciousness. We will then operate as one brain, as one body, like an ant colony or a hive of bees. The time of ‘us and them’ will be a thing of the past, because us ‘is’ them, just as the Spirit sings of in Miracles may happen, from the beautiful mystical song cycle Aviva. But until that time we all, defined or undefined, have learn how to deal with our own emotions and those of others. And that is the personal ‘training revolution’ that you are invited to this week. And that means we have to learn to deal with our fear of rejection.

Fear of rejection

The fear of rejection lies at the heart of this week’s theme. And at the heart of the fear of rejection lies our fear of death. Especially if we’re driven by the fear frequency of survival. As far as our primitive brain knows, rejection from the tribe means a certain death. And no matter how beautifully designed our prefrontal lobes are, in the dance between the as yet untrained emotional brain, and the remnants of the primal brain, we create angry and fearful subpersonalities that are crying out for the gentle loving care of the higher Self to bring them home. If not, they will go to war with each other, creating internal conflict, or project their dividedness on ‘the other’. In this fear dance we bombard ourselves with anxiety messages; kill him before he kills you, reject before you’re rejected, I need to protect ‘us’ against ‘them’ to survive. And yes, those thoughts are appropriate if you’re cornered in a dark alley by a gang of purse snatchers, but not if your partner decided to change the terms of your unwritten relational contract, without informing you first.

Once you awaken to a sense of a higher or deeper Self residing in your unconscious, you begin to understand that our incarnation vehicles are so much more than two legged egos! Passionate anger does not have to translate to physical, emotional or mental violence, internal or external, when we learn to become skilful drivers of this emotionally charged vehicle by letting our emotions ‘be’ what they are, without acting on them in an emotional organismic kneejerk fashion. Let is wash over and through us, like having an itch, but not scratching it. And staying calm in the face of other people’s passions, not letting yourself be blown away by their emotional tornado, or wiping it up some more, but just noticing that the feelings belong to them, not you, and you don’t have to take responsibility for them.

Orgasmic separation

As we orgasm, we temporarily lose connection with ‘the other’, if there happens to be another there at that moment. This severed connection can have both an isolating and a merging quality and when we are merged with the other, it would be impossible to kill them. But if, in our orgasmic fury, we isolate ourselves, then it becomes easy to kill. And that was the original genetic task of this energy, to isolate ourselves from the other so that we could kill to protect our tribe and its resources. And even today we see human beings capable of the most inhumane atrocities. And it frightens us. But at the same time, we also disconnect from our sense of unity with the other, when we see yet another famine and wave of migrants pass by on our screens. And we too experience what future humans may consider an atrocious disconnection from the pain and suffering of others. If we could just stay with the pain, with the unfairness, without letting it either overwhelm us or turn us into debating room fanatics, then maybe we can feel what needs to be felt, long enough, to take whatever tiny evolutionary steps we need to take, to contribute a new world.

And that’s all we can do. But you have to find the compassion to stay in the midpoint; neither passionately adding to the separation, nor escaping into an intellectual disconnect. I am inspired by the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, despite the fact that it was far from perfect and has its critics. But then, revolutionaries always want to see a next step!! Those of us who have worked on their own inner revolutions, and help others to do the same, know that it sometimes gets messier before it gets better. But we continue to work towards harmony and peace because that’s the only thing that makes sense. That’s what each of us came here to do.

As I’m writing this blog, a strong southwester is buffeting my boat. Wind that can whip up a destructive frenzy, but also be harnessed to drive the windfarms that create new energy.

So enjoy the positive passion of this week by experimenting with full awareness with your new emotional intelligence centre. We can all contribute to the revolution that will bring about a new world by observing our own reactive emotional kneejerk reactions with a loving curiosity, and thus transforming them into inner revolutions, where insight and forgiveness combine with the need for lasting change, so that all of humanity can be reborn into her highest form.

09-02-2019 – ©Lysanne Sizoo

Lysanne Sizoo works as a Psychosynthesis Counsellor and Psychospiritual therapist. In 2018 she completed the Gene Keys Ambassador training. You can contact her for an interpretation of your HD/Gene keys profile at san@zensan.nl. You can also book a counselling retreat in her self-contained houseboat apartment close to Amsterdam.

*Those familiar with Human Design, will recognise from this description the difference between people that are emotionally defined, or not. The ‘senders’ and the ‘receptors’ of emotional energy respectively. If you’re interested to find out to which category you belong, then I can highly recommend that you go to the Human Design website.