Hiding behind a smile

 Behind the smile

What would you do if I told you the truth

If I told you outright; I’m not feeling too bright.

Hi, how are you

I’m fine, And you?

How would you cope, would you know what to say

If I broke up the pattern, would you rather not stay?

Hi, how are you

I’m fine, And you?

My pain is not casual, not an ‘oh not so good’

I’m mourning the loss of my motherhood

Hi, how are you

I’m fine, and you?

Would it shock you to see, me dropping my mask

Behind which I hide, my fear and my pride.

Hi, how are you

I’m fine, and you?

If only, just someone, would reach for my hand

Just squeeze it and say, I understand.

Would see through the mask, tThe pain and the pride

would see and accept, why I needed to hide.

Who would see that behind, that great happy smile

lie confusion and the fear of failing this trial.

Just a squeeze in my hand, Perhaps not even a word

Just for someone to see, how much I hurt.

London 1991, Copyright Lysanne Sizoo.

Dedictated to Georgy, who saw.

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