So you think you need willpower?

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The latest research shows why our willpower lets us down and also how much we can build up our willpower so we have more to fall back on. But before you head off to the will-gym to turn yourself into the willing equivalent of Silverster Stallone, reflect for a moment on how you plan to use this new found willpower.

I am what I am

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From childhood we do what we have to do to fit in. We know this from countless research studies as well as many hours spent with coaches, therapists and counsellors. More often than not, the song we end up singing in life is ‘I am what I’m not’. When life circumstances push us into a period of transition we very often bump up against our intrinsic need to remain acceptable and likeable to our tribe.

1. The wedding song

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Viviana and her new husband celebrate their love and sing of their hopes for a house full of children and making love every day! When joy is uppermost we do well to celebrate and enjoy our fortune.

How do you use your freedom?

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We imagine ourselves trapped, unfree, unable to direct our lives. We sit like caged birds; the door is wide open but we have forgotten how to fly. But I assure you that those who are truly, physically unfree at this point in time, will tell you exactly what they would with their freedom

Growing old abroad

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Intercultural couples might never have thought about whose 'home' will be the one where they rest their bones. Couples who share one culture, as well as individuals may face the prospect of reverse culture shock. And some of us may even find we lose our acquired languages.

2. Fate stirring

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Viviana dances in the forest, hoping and dreaming about her future. Suddenly she hears the ominous words of fate, but for now, chooses to ignore it.

Neither here nor there

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I don’t belong yet I don’t care because I am neither Here, nor there.

3. Small pretty things

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Viviana and her husband are dreaming about their baby as every pregnant couple does. What will they name it, will it be a boy or a girl? But then their dream of parenthood crashes and falters on the rocks of fate. Viviana cries for the child that she mis-carried, and her husband mourns for the lover he has lost as Viviana retreats into herself.

4. Unrequited love

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Viviana's husband wants to show her his love. Human beings need to be allowed to give love and much as to receive it. He hurts when she is too sad to hear him. And if we listen from the perspective of the Shadow, then even within the psyche there can be parts that want the love and recognition of other parts.